My First short story


Basically what the title says, this assignment was my first attempt at a short story and it turned out ok I guess. This was before I changed the flow into better paragraphs amongst other things. So you could say this was the raw version. Anyways have a read and see what you think:


It was a cold November evening and rain had just begun to fall. The kind of rain that reminds you winter is on its way, the kind of rain that would be amazingly refreshing on a hot summers day but in the final days of Autumn, it felt like small droplets of ice hitting your cheek. As the rain began to fall steadily faster, Karen let out a long drawn out sigh that revealed itself as clouds of warm moisture hitting the cold night air. She had been waiting for the bus home for over fifteen minutes but the longer she waited for the more she began to think it would never arrive. Karen already had a rough day at work and standing in the cold night air becoming wetter by the minute wasn’t helping at all.


Being a nurse could be tough most days of the week but she loved the challenge and helping people gave her life a purpose and focus she never thought she would have, especially not by the time she was 25. Today was especially rough with lots of new patients to admit onto the already full wards and trying to find them all a bed was neigh on impossible.


The rain had become so heavy that Karen’s clothes under her long mac coat had started to dampen and cling to her skin. “Where the hell is this bus?!” she muttered under her breath as she wrapped her arms around herself hoping it would help make her just that little bit warmer. Out of the corner of her right eye, she thought she saw something coming towards her on the empty road. As she turned her head to investigate it suddenly felt instantly warmer and lighter than it had before plus she swore to herself that she felt the rain stop suddenly. The car was still coming towards her but it was a strange model of car that she didn’t recognise. She didn’t think it too odd though as she admittedly didn’t know much about cars. Just before it passed her she blinked and in an instant the road was back to being dead with the rain and cold of the November evening once again returning.


Her mind was instantly confused and whilst trying to make sense of what just happened she hadn’t paid attention to the footsteps coming from behind her, in fact, she didn’t even realise there was someone stood next to her until the rain hitting her body came to a sudden halt. She looked to the pavement where she saw the rain had stopped in a small circle around her. As she began to look up and noticed the umbrella, she saw a shadow out of the left-hand corner of her eye which caused her to almost jump out of her skin. “What the?!” shrieked Karen as a pleasant and soft voice came out of the silhouette stood next to her. “Oh, my God, I am so sorry! I just saw you stood here soaking and I thought you could use some cover… I’m sorry I never meant to scare you! I’m, I’m…” he stuttered trying to find his voice “I mean my name is Andrew.”


Karen quickly managed to find her composure and placed her hand on her chest whilst at the same time shaking her head with droplets falling as she did. “No no it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I just thought I was alone and didn’t hear you coming up behind me!” As she said this she backed up a few inches so that she was stood under the dim street light hoping he would follow with his umbrella so she could get a better look at him. When he did walk into the light, she was relieved to finally see the face of the gentleman in front of her but also taken aback slightly. This kind man was so handsome it slightly took Karen’s breath away. Andrew was taller than she was by a good few inches so she estimated Andrew would be around 6 foot. He was slightly stocky with wide shoulders and was wearing a brown suit under his black jacket.


As she made a note to herself about how smart he was dressed she blinked and suddenly his brown blazer had turned into a black three-piece suit with a white shirt and finished off with a pale blue tie. Whilst she was trying to make sense of how Andrews clothes had changed she noticed that her left hand was pressed against his chest with a gold diamond ring adorned on her third finger. She couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful jewellery as it glistened in the sun. It looked so much like her Grandmothers wedding ring, the ring she always wore when she played dress up by herself when she was younger but she couldn’t quite make out if it was the same ring or even more strangely why she was suddenly wearing it. Her attention was taken away from the mystery of the ring when her eyes caught on to the fact there were petals falling in front of her face, fluttering in the once again warm air with no sign of the heavy rain. Karen followed one of the petals as it floated to the pavement although the ground was now a small stone staircase which she was stood at the very top of. It was only when she noticed the stairs that she realised the petals weren’t petals at all but confetti; confetti in stunning shades of red, white and pink. Her confusion gave way for a split second as she felt truly happy. It was a happiness she had never felt before and it both scared and delighted her at the same time. “Say cheese!” came a distant voice and as she looked up to meet the eyes of this man in the black three-piece suit, she saw that the figure in front of her was Andrew but the surroundings had once again grown cold and the beautiful sunshine from that happy day had become a dark, dreary evening highlighted by the street light with the rain lashing down hitting him all over.


Karen was totally perplexed but put it down to being tired and just wanting to get home to the warmth and eventually her comfy bed. She put the feeling of uncertainty out of her head and once again began to study the features of the man in front of her. He had brown hair that was in a side parting pushing most of his over to the left-hand side of his face but due to the rain his hair had fallen and was flapping over his left eye. This brought attention to his eyes, two beautiful light blue eyes that were slightly bigger than any she had ever seen before which she thought helped draw you into his deep gaze. The intense pale blue of his eyes made her think of the tie she had seen on the figure from her daydream, noting that it would go perfectly with anything Andrew wore as it would only make his eyes that much more stunning. As she noticed this he smiled shyly more to himself than to her which caused her to smile nervously back. This only made his smile grow into a huge stunning grin which had the same effect on her as she pushed her hair back behind her ears trying to be all coy.


“I don’t mean to sound forward but wow, you are beautiful. I hope you don’t mind me saying that? May I ask your name?” As she stared back into those wonderful eyes she kept smiling as she shook her head “I don’t mind at all. Who doesn’t like hearing someone telling them they are beautiful?” Andrew breathed a long sigh of relief and that shy smile crept back onto his face. “Oh, and it’s Karen by the way. Karen Danvers.” She reached out her hand as she spoke and Andrew looked down and then back into her green eyes as he placed his hand on hers in a soft but reassuring grip. “Pleased to meet you, Karen, I’m Andrew. Andrew Summers.”


As he said this she began to feel queasy and shook her head as if to shake off nausea. She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. She slowly opened her eyes to find that her hand was now being held by an older man who wore thick-rimmed tortoise shell glasses and had short but brilliantly white hair. “Take a seat Mrs Summers.” He said as he released Karen’s hand and motioned to the chair that had appeared behind her. Unsure of what was happening or why he had called her Mrs Summers she sat down and noted that the room was fairly large and this man had a big desk in the middle of it with two seats opposite him, one of which was now taken up by Karen. “I’m pleased to tell you that after our tests we have discovered that you’re three months pregnant.” “Wait what?! How is this possible?” she thought to herself. “I don’t even have a boyfriend let alone a husband!” Shocked and upset Karen began to stand and at once she felt dizzy. All of a sudden, a strong grip had caught her before she fell and as she looked up into the face of the person who had saved her she saw those pale blue eyes again, the same eyes she had fallen in love with all those years ago but now they looked both wiser and concerned.


Karen closed her eyes once again to stave off nausea but instead of being brought back to that cold rainy evening of November like before she was stood in a bright yellow room that was covered in soft toys and baby things. Looking down she saw a small baby was cradled in her arms and instantly she knew that this was her daughter, as confusing as this was she felt such happiness and began to cry tears of joy that dropped from her eyes straight onto the baby’s blanket. “Hey honey don’t cry or you’ll set me off!” came that same voice from all those years ago, as a seemingly older Andrew came up behind her and squeezed her gently. “It’s been a tough few days but she is finally here, our little bundle of joy.” Karen couldn’t hold back the tears as she set the baby down into her new crib.


As she lay the baby down she looked up at the mobile hanging above the cot and smiled to herself. Lowering her head back down for another look at her beautiful child she realised that she was no longer there. Panicking she turned around to tell Andrew but he had disappeared too. All at once a sense of dread came over her as she noticed the room was now empty apart from the cot up against the wall. “What is going on?” she thought as she turned around and began to wrench the door open. All of a sudden, her mum was on the other side with tears in her eyes. “Mum?! What are you doing here? What is happening? Where is Andrew?!” She hadn’t meant to shout but the confusion was beginning to scare and frustrate her. Her mum pulled her into a tight hug and whispered “You know where they are love. You remember the accident, don’t you? If you didn’t have to cover that shift, then all three of you would have been in that car.” Accident? What accident?! “The other driver came out of nowhere, there was nothing anyone could have done.”


“No, no this can’t be real!” said Karen as she slowly pulled back from her mum’s hug and looked up to see a middle-aged woman with a kind face but she certainly wasn’t her mum! “Who… Who are you? Where the hell am I?” Pushing away from the woman she noticed her hands looked old and wrinkly but that beautiful ring from her daydream was once again there on her left hand. Turning around to look at her daughter’s crib she realised she was suddenly outside on a warm afternoon by a quiet road. “Karen please don’t get upset, you know who I am, it’s Jean from next door.”


“Where is my baby I have to find her! Is she with Andrew?!” Suddenly Karen began to become confused.

“Jean? Oh, I am so sorry dear I was, well I don’t know what I was doing. I felt like I was in a daze.”

Jean smiled softly and walked over to Karen wrapping her arms and a pale blue blanket around her shoulders “It’s ok Karen, let’s go back inside and I’ll make you a nice brew how does that sound?”

“Yes, of course, dear. I don’t suppose you’ve seen Andrew, have you?”

“I’m sorry Karen, I haven’t.”


Back in 1965, the two strangers hold their gaze ignoring the World around them. The number 7 bus finally arrives 20 minutes late but it is something neither Andrew or Karen even notice.


One thought on “My First short story

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s